How do I make a wedding budget? Vol 1

Your friendly budget watchers

This should be one of the first five questions you ask yourself once you embark on your wedding planning journey.  Yet, it rarely is.  It's not that the topic is a complicated one, but it is a priority that isn't fun, so it often gets avoided. this is probably going to take a few posts, so prepare for 2 to 3 volumes.

Okay, now that you know you're going to set up your budget, what to do first?

ONE: Write down the boundary number.  This is the scariest part because chances are you have no idea what anything costs.  Honestly though, that shouldn't matter.  What does matter is that the number you put here $_______________ is a number that you (or whom ever is paying) is comfortable spending on the wedding.  It does NOT mean that you have to spend all of it, or that it will even be necessary to.  But you have to establish your boundary number first.

TWO: Prioritize  What is most important, 1, 2 or 3? You might change your mind later, but it will be best if you're honest with yourself now and write it down.  If you change your mind later, you have to start a new budget.  Always have a working budget.

1. Guest list (Whose invited to the wedding)
2. Location & Style (Where your wedding will take place, both ceremony & reception AND Indoor/Outdoor, Casual/Formal)
3. Date (also consider day of the week if you're flexible on this)

Now that the 1st wedding discussion (argument is more likely) is over and everyone is done yelling and screaming (somebody is probably crying too), its time to do some research.  Based on what you've prioritized,

THREE: Research what is out there.  Based on your first priority, what are your options?  It's time to do some online research and make a few calls so that you have a reasonable idea of some options and costs. DO NOT fall for this:

"The average U.S. wedding costs $23,000"

Wrong, wrong, wrong.  It totally depends on where you are, how many people are coming, and the kind of wedding you're planning.  No need to completely rule anything out yet.  Just get ideas.  Do not look for hard and fast answers.  They will not apply until you've made many more decisions.  You may or may not be in sticker shock after this step, so we'll take a breather and come back for vol. 2 later.

Destination Wedding Rule #6Save the Dates & Wedding Website

Send Save the Dates and Set up a wedding website. This should have probably been rule 1 or 2, but well, I didn't do it that way.

Save the dates have become the norm, but when planning an event that requires your guests to travel, it is imperative. Your save the date should at the very least include:
~Your names
~The date(s) of your event
~The city and state (and/or country for international affairs)
~Your wedding website address

What I also find helpful(and so will your guests):
A summary itinerary: If you're planning multiple events over several days- let everyone know!
Basic travel information: How will most guests arrive? Give info on airports, drive times, car services, etc.
Accommodation information (where you have rooms blocked at). Include Addresses, phone numbers, website, and a little info if its more than just a "hotel"

Here are a couple of our client favorites...

Destination Wedding Rule #5

Feed well, and feed appropriately! When it comes to your events, especially the outdoors ones, choose your menus wisely. Lots of hot and fried foods after 8 hours in the sun, particularly when your guests aren't used to the heat, is not a good idea. So the key is to offer as many light and refreshing selections as possible.

Need to catch up on the rules so far?
Rule 1, Rule 2, Rule 3, Rule 4

Destination Wedding Rule #4

Put yourself in your guests shoes when considering their experience. If you're bringing them to a warm and/or humid destination from a cold location, do what you can to keep them comfortable. This means offering (welcome bags & hospitality baskets) and suggesting things that will keep them safe and feeling good:
Bottled water, sunscreen, skin moisturizer, off wipes, chapstick, ibuprofen packs, mints, flip flops, and most importantly a guest guide for the weekend.

The bag above is one of the best I've ever come across. It's large enough to carry items down to the beach and pool, but small enough to pack away in an overstuffed suitcase. And at under $6 each...A STEAL. And the cute bags below- I love these for bridesmaids gifts. Perhaps with a nice thank you note inside along with lip gloss, a mirror, and blotters (to fight the mid-reception shine).

Destination Wedding Rule #3

This rule is two-fold and applies to all weddings, not just destination. Study weddings before you choose a venue, hire your wedding vendors and purchase services and products. Reason being- you need to know what is that you want in order to know what to ask for. Just take a couple weeks to flip through magazines, read wedding blogs, and wedding books before you pick up the phone. I'll use wedding cake as a simple example. You have to know that there are frosted wedding cakes and fondant covered wedding cakes in order to narrow down which bakers to consider because so many bakers only do one or the other. This is a good thing by the way because that means they are focused on being really good at that art. This leads me to the next piece; select vendors who have a single focus. A photographer who offers video and DJ service? No. This is hands down the quickest way to get less than quality something. Here's what I can guarantee you. You don't want less than quality anything. Nor do you deserve it.
Read rule 1 here and rule 2 here.

Need some good blogs to research? Try Style Me Pretty, Elizabeth Anne Designs, Bon Bon Blog, Once Wed, the Bride's Guide, and Polka Dot Bride.

For books: read this and this, and especially this.

Destination Wedding Rule #2

Destination Wedding Rule #2: This one is more of a tip than a rule. Put great consideration into a mid-week wedding. Your wedding costs will be less because of mid- week packaging from your vendors. This means you can do more with your budget. Also, travel will be less expensive for your guests! It's very important though to send save the dates 9-12 months in advance so everyone can get a couple days off of work.

A few wedding rules that I've seen "misplaced"

I'm just going to list out a few things that are bad and you shouldn't do and why. Feel free to print this one out.

1. Don't get sunburned 2 days before your wedding: You'll look ridiculous and feel the same. Wear sunscreen and reapply all the time.
   
2. Don't stay out until 3 in the morning the night before your wedding: You'll feel worse than you look. Go to bed on time and wake up filling awesome.
   
3. Don't force your seamstress to make your dress super tight: You will be so uncomfortable you will hate your dress in 15 minutes flat. Get some spanx and relax.
   
4. Don't ask someone to be in your wedding party out of guilt or persuasion: I promise you'll regret it. Instead, find another way to have them participate (reader, toast, etc.)

There are more, yes. But long lists of rules just look scary.