Like Mother Like Daughter

I often find that most of my brides have very similar tastes as their moms. Which is great- it makes everything easier when it comes to designing their wedding. What moms and their daughter brides don't usually agree on- etiquette, tradition, and guest count.
Well, same goes for me and my daughter Maddy. No, she isn't getting married anytime soon, but she did just have her 9th birthday party.

Etiquette. Madeline thought it would be okay to show her entire class the invitation to her party. Even though only one classmate was invited. Boy did we have a long talk about that.
Here is the invitation:

Tradition. Madeline wanted to serve steak from Outback Steakhouse(her favorite) at the tea party. I quickly explained that traditionally, its sandwiches at a tea party. I won this battle. Here's the kid friendly buffet we created:

Guest Count. Madeline wanted to invite everyone under the sun of course. I said we had to limit it to the number of kids we could fit at one 6' banquet table and 2 36" round tables end to end. Here's the table:


For fun, the kids decorated their paper mache purses with all kinds of colorful items. For the few boys in attendance, we had foam visors to decorate. Here's the decorating station:


It was a great party. Did you notice Maddy picked both our favorite colors for her party? Like mother, like daughter. Happy Birthday Maddy!

There is generous, and then there is over doing it.

I met with a potential client yesterday who has fantastic ideas for her wedding. It will be a beach wedding, so she wants to have parasols to shade the guests, program fans to cool the guests, and flip flops to keep their feet cool and comfy. Of course, there will also be welcome bags for all the out of town guests, which will include a custom photo cookie. And at the reception, a photobooth so everyone can take a picture home.Then at the end of the night, while everyone is out on the dancefloor, each place setting will be replaced with a mini wedding cake. I love all these things, every last one. So we talk about all the great things we have planned and then she says,

"So what should we do for the favor?"

Nothing. Absolutely nothing is my answer. I understand wanting to give your guests gifts. Me, I'm a big HUGE fan of giving gifts. But there comes a point where enough is enough. So with that said, think before every purchase. You don't want your guests to leave your reception with a shopping bag. Unless of course its a cool monogrammed one from Red Envelope. Just kidding!

Aren't you excited I finally figured out how to make these photo boards? Thank you to some fantabulous direction at Style Me Pretty. Seriously, I love her blog.

If you can't do a welcome bag

Welcome bags are wonderful for destination weddings. It's one thing that I have noticed that guests consistently rave about. The thing is, they can get pretty pricey. This last season the bags we delivered ran between $5.oo each and $32 each. I know, pretty big range. What drives the cost is the actual container you choose, what is in the bag, and the expense of assembly and delivery. Most resorts will charge a fee to deliver to the guests rooms. Others may allow you to drop it off at the front desk for when your guests actually arrive free of charge. For sure check on this in advance. So what if even $5 isn't in your budget? There is still something you can do. The reason we do welcome bags to to welcome wedding guests who are from out of the area, introduce them to the locale, and provide them with the weekends itinerary (if there's more than just the wedding ceremony & reception). If you can't do this, how about sending out a wedding newsletter to all the guests who have RSVP'd "YES!", including all the information on it: Itinerary, favorite & nearby restaurants, things to do, and for sure a map. All this costs is your time, some nice paper, and postage. For certain, this is much less expensive, and your guests will still be tickled pink that you thought of them in advance. Got a little wiggle room in the budget? Use photostamps to spice it up. Or if you and your groom aren't camera shy, do a welcome dvd and mail that to everyone! You can totally get creative with this. And if one of you does do the welcome dvd- send me one, I want to see!

Here comes the organized wedding planner chiming in: There is absolutely no need to wait to do this. It can be done way way in advance. Don't dilly dally.

The Truth about your wedding menu

The truth about your wedding menu: Nobody cares what it is as long as it's hot and tastes good.
Consider all the weddings you've been too. Is the meal what you remember most about them? Doubt it.
Think about the BEST wedding you ever attended. Was the meal what made it? Doubt it.
Chances are that the best thing about your favorite wedding was the great time or feeling you had there. It's probably the memory of a band so amazing that you were dancing for so long your feet were swollen into your shoes. Or your lack of memory due to a really great signature drink. Or maybe it was how incredibly romantic and intimate the night was. Or perhaps it was how gorgeous the ceremony & reception looked and made you feel. But like I said, chances are- it wasn’t the meal.

My point is this, don't stress about what you put on your wedding menu. It's one of the elements of planning a wedding that I have noticed clients get more stressed about, and they just don't need to. So with that said:
***Feel free to serve chicken. These days, you can get some mighty good chicken! Chefs are amazing with their accompaniments and presentations, let them kick it up a notch and get creative with it. Why chicken? It is almost always the least expensive entree on a catering menu. Those savings mean you can bump up your budget on the things that really do make a huge difference in your wedding memories (the band, the flowers, etc.).
***Have a shorter dinner. Go the 3 course route rather than the 4 course. Again, there is the cost savings. Even better though, the time savings. That 4th course could easily eat up another 30 to 40 minutes of your "party" time.
***Do go all out for dessert. It's consistently a big hit when it’s done, and because it happens later in the evening- guests do remember it.
Cool ideas: add a dessert buffet, candy bar, Venetian table, or fresh doughnut bar.

TIE-dy up that budget!

There is nothing more that I love than a great deal. A couple weeks ago I searched up and down 3 cities trying to find satin finish chocolate brown neckties for the groomsmen in one of next months weddings. I had ZERO luck. I ended up buying yards of fabric and dropping it off at a seamstress. What did I find today? A GOLD MINE. Check out SolidColorNeckties.com.
Not only are the ties extremely inexpensive, but they have about every color under the sun, and every type of tie: standard ties, skinny ties, bow ties, cross over ties. LOVE it.

A cool idea? These ties are so cheap ($3.75!!!!) you could outfit all the catering staff in your wedding colors! How awesome would that be? Just order one tie per table of guests, and you should have the appropriate number to cover the servers and bartenders. Check with your venue in advance of course.

My friend needs a wedding planner

Yes, its now almost 1am and I'm still working. I just opened up this email from the most hilarious client ever and she woke up the Jerry Seinfeld in me.

Funny Bride:

Hey there! A friend of mine (guy) is getting married in City name removed to protect the dis-organized on 6/15 and they are really behind in their planning. I told him he needs a wedding planner and started asking all these questions. He wanted your info but then I told him you were in Florida :) Do you by chance know of any City Name Removed wedding planners that could help a disorganized couple?

Me:

No, I don't, because wedding planners don't deal with dis-organized couples.

Oh my gosh, I should put that on my questionnaire!:
1) Name_________________
2) Wedding Date______________
3) Are you dis-organized? _____ (if yes, stop here)
4) Expected number of guests_____


I put the word out with my wedding planner network to see who's in the area. I think I actually know one, and if she's booked, she'll give me the name of the next best thing :)

Ok, so maybe I'm not as funny as Jerry Seinfeld. But I am giggling something fierce.

Say Cheese!

So I have a couple clients who want to do the polaroid stations rather than the guest book. Because really- what in the world are you going to do with a book of signatures that you can't read?
But look at this new super cool idea! I LOVE IT.
With Usnaps you get in front of the booth, push the button, and the next day all the images are online at a designated website! You and all your guests can download away or purchase prints right from the website. But the best part- the newlyweds get a high-res dvd of all the images! How cool is that? It's all the rage at celebrity parties in LA and NY.
With Photobooth Scrapbooks, you get a vintage photobooth that spits out an unlimited number of those fun photostrips and a scrapbook for your guest to attach the photos and leave a message!
Both Usnaps and Photobooth are about $2000.

Your Big Exit

I received this question from a reader yesterday:

I was wondering if you had any creative/unique ideas for a send off at a venue that doesn't allow confetti, birdseed, sparklers, etc.

It's such a great question because there are some really creative things that can be done. Before you start to plan your big send off, take note of a few things:
1. The rules and regulations of your venue.
2. Local laws
3. If you're planning something really great- keep your photographer AND videographer until the end of the reception. Something like this is not the thing to leave out of your professional photos and video.
4. Somebody has to be in charge of staging the exit. If you don't have a wedding planner or wedding coordinator, make sure you have someone responsible and sober enough to remember their special job.
5. Timing, and the ability to move all the guests out is crucial.

Okay, so here are a few ideas:
1. Rose petal toss. This looks so great, its environmentally safe, and the petals don't hurt. I had rice at my wedding. It was the worst ever. It hurt so bad.
2. Fog machine, Disco lights, and a big funky song. Doors swing open, and the two of you come out dancing! This is also a really great segue to an after party...
3. Feathers, bubbles, or balloon drop
4. A choreographed dance. The dirty dancing finale would be perfect. See the YouTube video down at the bottom of the blog.

The new wedding toast drink: TEQUILA!

Move over champagne, here comes something newer. Yep. It's new and very cool. I love the idea. This new celebration toast is a toast that the bride and groom give to their guests to say "We're so glad you came to celebrate with us- let's have a blast!" Its a great surprise for your guests, and really gets conversation going, and for sure will produce awesome photos.
What I recommend:
*Use a really good tequila, like Patron.
*Serve it in mini shot glasses with a lemon slice and salt on the side. A full sized shot is not necessary.
*Do the toast right after your 1st dance, before dinner. That way you have everyones attention and they'll be eating right away.
*Have the servers take the shot glasses and used slices away as they drop the salad course.

The Wedding Budget Series

Budgets are a big subject, so I decided to make this a 6 part series. The topics I'll hit on are:
*Average costs
*Prioritizing
*Guest counts
*Being Reasonable
*The extras to budget for (cushions)
*When you need the money
Feel free to ask a question through the comment link anonamously and I'll be sure to answer as best I can.

The winner from Part 1: Lazar Soiree! Although she was the only guess, she came really close to actual costs.
Wedding A: $13,000 Wedding B: $67,500
The 3 big differences between the 2 weddings:
*Weekday wedding = lower site fees and minimum requirements
*Brunch meal = lower catering and bar fees
*Decor and music choices

If I see this happen one more time I'll scream

I just got back from a wedding. I was not the wedding planner. Apparently, nobody was. I have 2 things to say and then I promise I won't bring it up again.

ONE: Mothers of the brides should not have to work at their daughters weddings. Tonight I saw this poor woman doing everything. Including controlling the drunk Maid of honor, the brides sister. She also was responsible for lining up the wedding party (3 times), releasing the tables (are you kidding me?), and moving ceremony flowers to the reception. I'm sure she was also responsible for packing up the car with the 40 boxed gifts at the end of the night.

TWO: If you aren't going to do anything else, give your DJ a timeline that says when you want everything done by. You should not have 1/2 your wedding guests already gone by the time you do your best mans toast. And another 1/4 gone before you have your cake cut. I am not kidding- only 10% of the wedding guests were left for the cake cutting tonight, and the couple had to fork over another few hundred dollars to keep the photographer an extra hour because everything ran so late.

What makes a wedding a destination wedding?

des*ti*na*tion (des'ti-nAy'shen) n. The place to which one is going or directed.
There's a little debate about this, but I will tell you what I think. A destination wedding is one where the wedding is taking place in a location such that the majority of guests are travelling. So, even if the bride and groom live at the wedding location; if all the majority of their guests have to travel to get there- its a destination wedding.
What makes this different from a regular wedding is that while it is more complex in the planning, it also provides for a more intimate experience and quality time spent. Because everyone is going to be together for at least 2 days, you'll actually get to spend time having fun with your guests! Not just the 5 minute quick, stop by to say "hello thanks for coming", during the tour of the tables at your reception dinner. Read back a few posts to see what a destination wedding weekend can be: Documenting your entire wedding weekend
Do you have to do all these events? Absolutely not! But considering that all the people you care about most are travelling to celebrate with you, take advantage of it!
Chances are when you are having a destination wedding that you will have less "yes" RSVP's than if you have it at a location central to the majority of invited guests. So a destination wedding can certainly be less costly. Also, many popular wedding destinations are just plain old less expensive than "home". It's just like that house buying show on HGTV, What you get for the money I think its called; what $30,000 buys you in New York City buys you a whole lot more on Sanibel or Captiva Island. A destination wedding can actually be a budget saver.
So then whats a destination wedding planner? A destination wedding planner is experienced in planning not just weddings, but also experienced in weddings where there are travel and multiple events for the guests involved. Some destination wedding planners only plan weddings in the area they reside in, and some destination planners will also help you plan a wedding outside of the region. Tip: when you're looking for your wedding planner, they may not call themselves a "destination wedding planner", just ask if they have experience planning them.

Cookies for Comments!

"So excited!" Ok, well, maybe I do get excited about alot of things. But today I am really very excited because I just got my 1st batch of Weddings by Socialites Cookies! After 5 years, I really needed a change. So last month I unveiled the new logo. And I have to admit, I love the new look. But I want to know what you think too. SO- if you send me a comment, I will send you a cookie! Make sure your email address is good so that I can email you for your mail address.
I also want to say thank you to Chris Ketchum at Masons Bakery for making these cookies for me. The cookies actually make fabo wedding favors (that's how I found them of course). For my last wedding the couple had 4 different photos made into cookies and gave each guest a set. Their guests just loved them- especially when they found themselves on a cookie!
If you want to get some photo cookies, contact Chris at Masons , and tell him Kelly sent ya.

"So, are you like J-lo? Do you have that little bag?"

Truly, I get asked this at least once a week. To go ahead and get the answer out of the way, no I'm not like J-lo, at least I don't think so, because that is nothing like what my job is like. But I do have a little black bag that would put Mary Poppins big carpet bag to shame. At my last wedding here is what I pulled out for mini-emergencies:
1. Safety pins to keep the ring bearers pants on.
2. Deodorant for a bridesmaid who danced all hers off.
3. Bobby pins for the bride.
4. Double stick tape to a guest to attach a card to a gift.
5. Sharpie to the pastor who needed to make a last minute change.
6. Mints to the entire grooms party, pre-ceremony, post-smoke break.
7. 1 Mylanta, 4 tylenol, 2 advil, 3 bandaids, and a tampon to various members of the wedding party.
8. Hairspray to the flower girl who twirled and twirled and twirled in her dress til her hair fell flat.
10. 4 zip ties on the ivy that wouldn't stay put.
11. 2 AA batteries to a guest whose camera went dead.
12. Lollipop to the screaming kid in the ceremony.
13. 3 battery powered tealights for the kids table. Some crazy person put real ones on there! Hellooooo- kids table.
14. Mace onto the DJ who nearly destroyed the reception. Just kidding. Hee Hee. I wanted to, but that's another post all together.

Say No to the ipod Wedding

Okay, I tried to just bite my tongue and I can't anymore. I realize its all the rage as far as the wedding magazines are saying- but have you been to a wedding reception with a "virtual dj"? Let me tell you, it virtually DOESN'T WORK. Here's the problem; or shall I say the short list of problems:
1. Nobodys reading the crowd. A pro dj can tell what kinds of songs your wedding guests are in the mood for. If they all rush the floor when Prince comes on, he knows what other songs will keep them on the floor instead of rushing off. Because we all know- that is the worst thing that can happen, an empty dancefloor. Your ipod (or laptop) doesn't know that Jack Johnson would be perfect right now because all your college friends are on the dancefloor- a pro DJ would.
2. Technical difficulties Someone tripped over the cords and now there's no music. Hmmmm. Who's going to fix that? Your cousin Simon is suppsed to be in charge of the music, but he's in the bathroom, I mean at the bar, or is he eating his dinner? Where is cousin Simon? Wait, these plugs came out, what goes where? Uh-oh, nobody knows, because the guy who set it up isn't there. How about that.
3. It isn't a cost savings. That's right, you aren't going to save anything worth raving about. To rent the equipment, have it delivered, set up, and returned is going to cost almost as much as a pro dj. And honestly, it's a huge pain in the you know what. If you really want to cut costs, let's talk about cake and bar options.
4. Announcements. Well, you certainly can ask a good friend or family member to be the person responsible for making announcements, it's not that much to ask, right? Wrong. That person is on call the entire reception. Every time something needs to be announced, I (or your wedding planner) have to go tap this person on the shoulder, interrupt their conversation, and ask them to come to the microphone. It's just not nice, they are a guest, not an employee! Unless of course you aren't going to have an entrance, a 1st dance, a toast, tradtional parent dances, a cake cutting, a bouquet toss...

Look, chances are that you have been to a wedding where there was a really bad, corny, YMCA playing, is-this-guy-drunk DJ. They aren't all like this. I can't stand those DJ's any more than you can. Your wedding planner will steer you in the direction of a quality DJ. It really is safe. You can even make a list of songs you absolutely want played, what is not to be played, and what is and isn't to be said or announced.

Here's a great note I found from a recent DJ: "Are you looking for a Disc Jockey or an Entertainer?
When looking for your entertainment, an important aspect to consider is whether you're looking for a Disk Jockey or an Entertainer. The biggest difference is that a Disc Jockey offers very little or no interactive entertainment. A Disc Jockey will play music-nothing more, nothing less. In comparison, Entertainers are fun, creative, energetic and get your guests involved."

P.S. Can I tell you how addicted I am to the Jack Johnson cd I got for Christmas? LOVE it.

Holiday Surprises!

This has been such a great holiday season. I have to tell you about my Christmas because it ROCKED! Christmas morning we woke up to one of my wedding day 2-way radios, "Mom we're awake. Can we come out?" Explanation: last year our kids got up and saw all the stuff Santa brought and we didn't get to see the looks on their faces. So this year, before they went to bed, we gave them a radio. We told them to radio us when they woke up and we'd come get them- not to leave the room! Needless to say, it was hilarious. Even at 7am.
So at Christmas dinner at my sister-n-laws house, she announced she was finally having a baby! It was just the greatest thing to hear. I cried of course. All of my clients who are newlyweds know that I am forever crying- totally water works factory. I honestly didn't think it could get better. I was wrong.
After dinner, we went to our best friends house for a Christmas party. I'm telling everyone the great news about my sister, and one of our closest friends says, "Guess what! I'm pregnant too!" I screamed, and started crying again. They're due just 2 weeks apart. Great night huh? Believe it or not, that wasn't the end of it.
An hour later, my best friend makes a toast to the pregnant friend, and at the end of the toast says, "And I have one more surprise. Follow me out to the dock." We get outside, and our other set of friends (who I set up exactly 2 years ago this week), is on the boat with Reverend Chris. It was a surprise wedding. I immediately broke into tears- again. Actually, by this point I'm completely sobbing.
Ok, so maybe I was a little sad about not getting to plan even a little bit of the wedding. But getting to watch as a guest was priceless.
Happy holidays everyone, and I hope yours are as special as mine.

31 and still smiling

That's right! Today is my 31st birthday. So far, really good. One bride sang happy birthday to me (awwww)...just before she asked me to find a way to make her photography budget higher, again. "JULES!"
My wonderful wonderful friends have been so great to me. I got e-cards, and red envelope boxes, and plane tickets...I am so blessed. On top of all that, I am so excited to say- I am almost done with my to do list and its not even 4pm! Woohoo!

Wedding planning advice:
Today I also had a client move their event date so they could get the amazing band that they wanted. Thankfully I still had the date open. Changing your wedding date is not the worst thing in the world. The reason I say this is because without a doubt, there's going to be something about your wedding that is a number one priority. Chances are- it isn't the date. So why base all of your plans on that?
Let's say that you pick a date, have a great location chosen, and then you get to the band. The band means everything to you. And the one you just have to have isn't available on the date you chose. However, they are available the night before or 6 weeks later. Here's a great way to avoid this big snag: Before you do anything, make a priority list. Make sure you cover everything- band, location(s), food, guest list, photographer...everything (Don't think this is a complete list by the way, it's not even half a priority list). After you've prioritized, set your budget, detail your budget, and start planning. 1st priority first.

Pictures:
That's me today with my red envelope box. I'll tell you what's in it tomorrow. I'm going to save it for opening later. The other photo is the cover of the wedding program for a wedding we're doing in a couple months. We've going retro, and I think it just turned out so cute. It's inspired by a lobby card from the 1965 movie Forever Darling starring Lucy & Desi. This is just the 1st draft...still trying to decide whether to stick with the cartoon faces or photoshop in real photos. What do you think?

Goodness! I can't believe I haven't made an entry since Memorial Day! It really is amazing how time flies by; whether its because you're having fun, or working so much that you don't notice the sun coming up and going back down again.
When it comes to your wedding, time is not always on your side. So being prepared is crucial. What's the best way to manage your time and everything else for your wedding day? (Besides having a wedding planner of course) Create a timeline. Start with 1 hour increments and fill in the blanks. Ceremony start time, reception end time, limo pick up time, when the photographer is arriving, your hair appointment, etc. As you start filling in the blanks you'll be able to break it into a more detailed timeline like the one above. On your timeline, make columns so you can put notes in, contact info, and be sure to leave space to add things that you "almost forgot". Once your timeline is complete, you'll have a really great document to keep you calm and cool when you think everything is going wrong. You'll know exactly who is where and when and what they're doing. Most importantly, make your schedule reasonable. You can't get your hair done at 3pm and expect to be walking down the aisle 20 minutes later. be forwarned, it takes time to build a good timeline. My wedding timelines are usually 3 to 4 pages long, have every wedding detail noted, all vendors contact information, and take me 4 to 6 hours to create.
Todays tip: Buy bins with lids to fill as you're planning your wedding. One for the reception, one for the ceremony, one for the rehearsal dinner, etc. As you purchase items, put them in the box and keep an inventory sheet on top. That way when wedding day comes you won't have to sort through everything. You can deliver each box to the appropriate location and not worry that something is missing!
Todays Link: http://www.floridacasinonights.com/ These people know how to turn a rehearsal dinner into a PARTY! I finally got to attend one of their events as a guest and I was totally shocked by how great a time I had. I'm not a poker playing kind of gal- but for some reason when there's no real cash to lose, it is just so much fun!

Thank you to all the men & women who have served our country. Where we we be without you? Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I had the great honor of planning Mandi & Andy's destination wedding, which took place earlier this month. It was without a doubt the most emotional wedding weekend I've ever been a part of. The groom is currently serving in the Army, and as I write this entry, he's back in Baghdad. We didn't know when Andy would actually arrive for the wedding until the day before he got here. His arrival was the most touching moment I've ever witnessed (look back a few posts). Many of the family members from both sides of the families also served in the armed forces.
For the rehearsal dinner, we planned it as a welcome home soldier party. We decked the place out in Red, White, and Blue. The brides mom also added "support our troops" yellow ribbons, and each guest wore a yellow lapel ribbon. The room looked great and was the complete opposite of the pink and crystal themed wedding the next day.
My tip of the day: Don't be afraid to go out and do something totally different for your rehearsal dinner. Host a casino party (these are SO much fun), have a luau, have a dessert only party, have a tailgate party, host a wine tasting... the possibilities are endless!
Todays picture: A snapshot of the Welcome home party decor. Sometimes piling it on is great!
Todays link: Here's a website I found if you would like to send the troops a message.
http://www.americasupportsyou.mil/americasupportsyou/Message.aspx?SectionID=5